he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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