you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Randomize
