I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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