Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
