that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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