He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
