The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
