Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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