I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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