I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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