Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
