Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize