i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
