My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
