drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
