:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
