yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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