haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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