I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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