He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
