My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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