i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
