I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
