Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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