Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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