Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....

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  (703): There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it.... http://tfl.nu/mny7
  Replies (14) Good night (751) Bad night (2134)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.

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  (507): The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything. http://tfl.nu/zuo5
  Replies (41) Good night (2463) Bad night (544)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own

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  (864): i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own http://tfl.nu/koat
  Replies (13) Good night (698) Bad night (4018)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again

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  (610): ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again http://tfl.nu/ywr6
  Replies (11) Good night (4184) Bad night (707)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.

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  (313): She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement. http://tfl.nu/rfma
  Replies (25) Good night (9585) Bad night (995)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.

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  (269): I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE. http://tfl.nu/167y
  Replies (20) Good night (3310) Bad night (2758)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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  (203): My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression. http://tfl.nu/go1x
  Replies (52) Good night (1218) Bad night (5186)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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  (724): you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right http://tfl.nu/sfkm
  Replies (20) Good night (4697) Bad night (1862)
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  (925): View more from California

  Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.

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  (925): Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager. http://tfl.nu/yj7y
  Replies (8) Good night (2442) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.

  (1-318): View more from Louisiana

  Stop giving me tequila.

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  (318): After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do. (1-318): Stop giving me tequila. http://tfl.nu/y3ru
  Replies (6) Good night (2208) Bad night (584)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.

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  (709): Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him. http://tfl.nu/nwj5
  Replies (14) Good night (850) Bad night (413)
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  (415): View more from California

  I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week

  (1-415): View more from California

  I don't deserve you.

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  (415): I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week (1-415): I don't deserve you. http://tfl.nu/jnri
  Replies (6) Good night (2148) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.

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  (256): Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide. http://tfl.nu/ci5k
  Replies (4) Good night (714) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY

  (618): View more from Illinois

  CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  The D is nonnegotable.

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  (952): FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY (618): CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3? (952): The D is nonnegotable. http://tfl.nu/i957
  Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (249)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long

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  (601): Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long http://tfl.nu/yjw4
  Replies (6) Good night (456) Bad night (283)

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