Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate

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(202): if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate http://tfl.nu/kvt4

Replies (3) Good night (1940) Bad night (761)
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(281): View more from Texas

3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.

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(281): 3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals. http://tfl.nu/21ij

Replies (12) Good night (2897) Bad night (560)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"

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(202): you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!" http://tfl.nu/xr8i

Replies (46) Good night (5609) Bad night (645)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time

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(505): Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time http://tfl.nu/wts0

Replies (9) Good night (902) Bad night (2848)
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(805): View more from California

It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"

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(805): It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!" http://tfl.nu/5h66

Replies (38) Good night (7445) Bad night (962)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

no pressure.

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(856): he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him. (215): no pressure. http://tfl.nu/wyu7

Replies (12) Good night (4537) Bad night (1002)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel

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(417): Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel http://tfl.nu/ki9k

Replies (11) Good night (2434) Bad night (1153)
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(801): View more from Utah

He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.

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(801): He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay. http://tfl.nu/qj10

Replies (19) Good night (1253) Bad night (2117)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.

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(662): She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list. http://tfl.nu/gj4y

Replies (21) Good night (3446) Bad night (1080)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.

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(609): I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot. http://tfl.nu/64ct

Replies (14) Good night (2615) Bad night (792)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time

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(859): Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time http://tfl.nu/a2fb

Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (429)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?

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(614): Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text? http://tfl.nu/s4pf

Replies (3) Good night (565) Bad night (329)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?

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(913): Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue? http://tfl.nu/a2ns

Replies (6) Good night (1004) Bad night (372)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.

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(630): Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life. http://tfl.nu/e0bg

Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (226)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction

(571): View more from Virginia

Done

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(410): Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction (571): Done http://tfl.nu/xyrm

Replies (0) Good night (460) Bad night (261)

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