All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?