did you get engaged???
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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