Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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