is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
