I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
