VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
