Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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