It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
