i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
