1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize