i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I would ride that face into the sunset
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
