So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
