You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
