Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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