My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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