I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
