I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
