I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We left an ass print on the piano.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
