so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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