I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
