NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
