seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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