There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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