Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
