I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
