i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
