I want to have your abortion
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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