I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
