Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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