May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
