I must be too annoying 4 u.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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