just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
