Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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