I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Found your dick twin last night
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
