And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
