DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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