I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
